so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
