I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
