Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
