When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
