I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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