Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
