Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
