dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i would punch a child for taco bell
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
this will be a night to untag.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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