i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
