How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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