508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm really busy with my period
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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