your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
