im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
