Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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