I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Screwed.edu
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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