I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
