Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
