i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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