I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
