the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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