He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
