Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
