So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
farters have to be the big spoon...
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
