you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
