the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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