ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
