If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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