Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
