Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
