so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
