i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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