Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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