I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
