What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
