We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
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