i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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