Farmville is her only friend.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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