Do you still have your period?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
