it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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