my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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