It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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