She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
