your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
