Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
