I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
