A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
