He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
