There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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