he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
