when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
