So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
