Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
